Move over, good girl and hello, Ms Nasty! Falling for the bad gal seems to be the trend du jour with reports mentioning how just like women are attracted to bad boys, men too find the proverbial 'bad girl' attractive.
Only recently, while researching for the third book in her trilogy of Bridget Jones' Diary, author Helen Fielding found that men were more attracted to the opposite version of the 'nice and sweet' character Bridget Jones. Fielding created two fake profiles — that of a sweet and innocent girl and the other, a glamorous but really horrible girl — and found that most men preferred the latter, nastier girl to date.
Only recently, while researching for the third book in her trilogy of Bridget Jones' Diary, author Helen Fielding found that men were more attracted to the opposite version of the 'nice and sweet' character Bridget Jones. Fielding created two fake profiles — that of a sweet and innocent girl and the other, a glamorous but really horrible girl — and found that most men preferred the latter, nastier girl to date.
What is bad?
The "bad girl" that men are so taken by at times isn't someone who is morally corrupt, but it has more to do with the psychological make-up. According to psychologist and counsellor Varkha Chulani, these are women who have had unfortunate learning experiences in life and thus, have a very manipulative and conniving way of going about their relationships, "We're not saying they have a bad moral sense. It is more about the poor role models they may have had, like an abusive parent, that shapes their world view and makes them dominate and control their surroundings and the men around them," she adds.
Why do men like it?
According to Chulani, men like the challenge that a bad girl poses. She elaborates, "A lot of times, men believe that they are tamers of sorts and that if they are able to reign them in, they get an ego boost of sorts." This may be due to the reputation that a bad girl builds over time. According to psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria, at times men have emotionally dependant personalities. "Men, who are in a relationship with an emotionally manipulative woman, feel like they are saving her, and believe they are in control of the situation," she says.
Often, men even have the need to figure out the mystery that a 'bad girl' presents. It's an addiction based on the need to control, and the fact that they themselves are manipulated, makes it even more irresistible.
Is it fun?
Dating a bad girl can be fun in the initial stages, but that feeling fades away soon, leaving an aching heart and a trampled ego in its wake. "After the initial fun bit, the relationship may go through tremendous upheavals, and due to fatigue in maintaining the relationship, the partners opt out," says Chulani.
Another factor that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most 'bad girls' ride big on the persona they create. "For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level," says Dr Chhabria adding that the value systems need to match for a relationship to continue. However, dismissing dating a bad girl could just take out a very important experience from your dating scene. "It could also be a hell of a ride!" exclaims author Advaita Kala.
